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Happy New Year!

Wow.  Where did 2010 go?

This has been one heck of a year for me and my brood.  I will forever remember 2010 as the year that brought a whole new level dimension of awareness to me.

I woke up this year.

I have a new awareness that not everything is as it seems on the outside.

And with that came a new awareness that true change begins when one dares to take a closer look on the inside.

A new awareness that awareness isn’t always enough.  Awareness that by daring to ask the next question, one needs to be prepared for what those answers may bring.

Awareness that a willingness to follow the path untraveled can bring more questions than answers.

Awareness that not having all the answers means you’re still lucky to be actively participating in this journey called life.

In the grand scheme of things, I think I evolved more this year than in my entire 37 years combined.

One thing I am grateful for?  Having been without my sense of smell and taste for the past 7 1/2 months.

I am grateful because it allowed me to tap into my other senses as I experiment in my kitchen, most notably my senses of sight, sound and touch.  So much of what I (we) strive for in our cooking is constrained by the tyranny of smell and taste, but I must admit that I have never paid much attention to the “feel” of smashing the perfect garlic clove versus a sub-standard one.  Or the feel of rolling a lemon under my hand to release every essence of its juice into my recipe.  Not being able to smell the onion or taste the spices has made me pay much more attention to the broader experience of presentation, texture, and the art of “hearing” a fresh carrot crack in my hands (this is the type of verbiage I heard all throughout IFBC in September, a.k.a. “food porn,” and I am a similar shade of crimson now, as I was then.  My husband on the otherhand… :-D ).

On New Years Eve past, I would have spent hours preparing food and/or myself for a party or a night on the town.  Instead, I spent 6 hours cleaning/clearing my pantry of every expensive (yet previously grateful to have), gluten-free substitute.  Wanna know why?  Because it seems that almost every single one of them contains corn, eggs or milk …all brand new allergies for us.  Kind of spooky huh?

So as my family and I begin 2011, we are feeling a bit like Alice through the looking glass, in that we now gaze upon a world we are only beginning to understand.  And, just like Alice falling through the rabbit hole, we really have no idea where we will land, but we know that as long as we keep our “glutadoodle goldfish” heads, we will be just fine (anyone know where I can score a silicone goldfish ice cube tray?  Can one become allergic to water?  Nevermind, don’t answer that).

I’m really excited to see what 2011 will throw at me…

Bring.It.On. :-D

What where your learning moments of 2010?

What are you looking forward to in 2011?

Comments

  1. Tia says:

    Close. http://www.sourcingmap.com/yellow-tpr-fish-ice-cu

    Happy New Year!

    Xoxo,

    Tia

  2. *Tink says:

    Happy New Year, Heidi!

    I've only recently found your blog, but am loving your style. :) I have been cooking, creating and eating (part time only) gf for over 2 years now. After my friend and her family were diagnosed, I began to experiment with the baking side of gf eating and we've had two years of wonderfully delicious, gf holidays. But to my surprise, just before Thanksgiving I was diagnosed with Celiac myself. Last year was the year of surgeries and learning to deal with the idea of having to cook/bake gf, full time for the rest of my life, and this is the year that I will begin to heal. I wish all the best for you and your family! :)

    Lorilyn

  3. Gentle New Years hugs…

  4. Great revelations, Heidi-girl! Wishing you peace, love and lots of farm fresh food in 2011. No labels to read, no worries about what's in an apple or a bunch of kale. Just amazing nutrient-dense building blocks. Good stuff, indeed.

    Cheers, my NM friend.

    Melissa

    xo

    P.S. I wore a vintage NM state apron while making Christmas dinner. It is awesome. I'll take a picture and send it to you. Found it at an antique shop.

    • I hear ya sister! We've been drinking our green smoothies all week and I've been SHOCKED at how my boys have taken to them, WOOT!

      My goal this year to eat next to nothing that comes with an ingredient label, which should save me a TON of money by not needing to get vitamins compounded to be corn-free!

      I'm also committed to starting a yoga class…a little worried of getting stuck in one of those positions though, LOL!

      Can't wait to see that pic!

      xo,

      Heidi

  5. Sharon M. says:

    What a thoughtful post. It really sums up my year as well. 2010 was also my year of awakening and I love it! Shirley over at gfe led me to your blog and I really enjoy your posts. I am a member of Shirley's support group. How amazing it is to be in the company of others who know exactly.what.you.are.feeling! In 2010 I learned how to eat more delicious whole foods than I could ever imagine. I learned I could prepare healthy GF,CF,SF foods easily in my own kitchen. I learned how much a lot of folks still have to learn about what it is to have food allergies/intolerances. I am looking forward to trying more new recipes in 2011 and continue on my quest for optimal health. Thanks for your help!!

    • Hi Sharon,

      I love me some Shirley (and I am so adopting her approach this year, gluten free easily)!

      Glad you are going on this journey of seeking optimal health with me…we WILL do it and have a lot of fun along the way!!

      Hugs,

      Heidi

  6. Deanna says:

    Don't be ditching your goldfish recipe just yet. I'm pretty sure that if anyone can make it work for your family, it's you! :)

    Happy New Year.

  7. Heidi! This was such a perfectly scripted journey of your last year. I love how you are looking at it as an adventure for the good. You have evolved so much and (about to sound like mom here, but…) I am so proud of you and your amazing attitude.

    There are many things that I have learned in this last year. The main thing was learning that I do not have to put the pressures on myself to make everything perfect for everyone. I want to focus this year on taking the stress off of always having to say yes to things. I want to spend more time focusing on my own goals (and doing WAY more yoga)!

    Tia, that mold is PERFECT!! Leave it to you to find that for her! LOL

    xo

    k

    • Thanks Kim! 2010 was definitely a year of transformation. As difficult as it was for me to embrace the gluten-free lifestyle several years ago, what I learned from that painful period was definitely beneficial as we "lost" more foods last year (I really don't consider it a loss though, rather a confirmation of which road we needed to take).

      I'm so with you on learning to let go of the pressure I put on myself to make everything "perfect." The real beauty in life lies within all the dents and scratches…the gorgeous patina. Learning to say "no" more often is one of my goals this year, no to perfect, no to stress, no to over extending myself in order to make everyone happy but myself.

      I will be saying YES to a diet of real whole foods, YES to yoga, YES to reading more books that aren't related to health and nutrition, YES to spending more time with my friends and family, and a resounding YES to grabbing hold of what is rightfully mine/ours…the right know what it feels like to be healthy. :-D

      I can't wait to see you and all my GF gals in March!

      xo,
      Heidi

  8. Tai says:

    You just summed up our year as well. I am happy to see it go, but so grateful for the awareness and dare I say blessings it brought through trial and pain?! I am looking forward to growing in our new life as a gluten free (hopefully soon fully healed) family. As much stress, grief (yes I grieved over the loss of our lifestyel), emotional and physical pain that 2010 brought to us, I would not have traded it for the world. It opened our eyes to the root of our problems. That can be a scary thing but the transformation is beautiful.

    Thanks for all you do Heidi. I consider you a dear friend, a fellow mom in the gf trenches. Happy New Year to you, Mike and the boys :)

    • Awww, I consider you a dear friend too Tai!

      You have been such an inspiration to me and I have you to thank for us going to see Dr. Vikki soon. Thank you for sharing your journey and transformation with me…I'm now chasing after you, LOL!

      xoxo,

      Heidi

  9. Brenda says:

    We have all the same allergies here…including water! It cannot have any chlorine in it. That brings our total to 9! I have learned to cook it fresh or do without. Walking with you on the road to being whole! Thanks for being there!

    • WATER?!!! Oh my goodness Brenda! And here I thought I was being sarcastic…is there anything left that doesn't have allergenic additives in it anymore?

      So happy to have wonderful people like you walking this journey with me, it sure makes all the difference.

      Hugs,
      Heidi :-D

  10. Kim says:

    Happy New Year!

    I can only imagine how hard it is to avoid all of the things you mentioned, but if anyone can do this, you can! You are one of the most creative people that I know, Heidi.

    I wish you a wonderful 2011!

    Kim

  11. Shelly says:

    Where can I find the Goldfish recipe you love??? I'd love to give it a try!

  12. Laurel says:

    Heidi what a beautiful recap of your year bursting at the seems with your "anything is possible" attitude as well as all the love the shining through your soul. I don't know how I found your blog but I did it at a moment in my life when I was giving up. I've been down this road with all its blind alleys and emotional/psychological abuse hurled on those who are 'different' for decades now. I've followed every path I could find and then could find no path and no reason to look until I stumbled across your adventures. It wasn't just the recipes or your attitude, they were a miraculous distraction when I needed one. I think it was more your determination to find the answers yourself – to dig and keep on digging and to share those answers, studies and resources and theories with all comers. So thank you for being here. I'm looking forward to following your new discoveries in 2011. Here's to all the blessings you and yours deserve.

    • Laurel,

      It's called "Serendipity." As my husband likes to quote from his (used to be) favorite movie: "Man (woman) looks into the abyss and sees nothing looking back at him (her). At that moment, you find your character….and that is what keeps you out of the abyss."

      Hugs,

      Heidi

  13. I wouldn't no where to begin on 2010, but this past year makes me even more excited for 2011 in general!

    So cool that you tapped into your other senses … some things we all take for granted.

  14. Renee says:

    Hey Heidi – a lot has changed this year, huh?! I am glad to have gotten to know you. And let me know if you want to go do yoga together. I need to get back into it…but I normally go in the evenings or Saturday morning and that probably won't work for you…later gator!

  15. Christine says:

    Thanks for your post, and for all the time and effort you put into maintaining this account of your journey and the recipes you find along the way.

    My husband and I were reflecting as I desperately tried to stay awake until midnight to see the ball drop, and we were going through the big moments of the year. When I commented about beginning a gluten free diet in Feb. he looked at me and said "really?" He had thought it had been much longer, but it hasn't. I still don't have even a gluten intolerant diagnosis, despite my major GI symptoms when I eat gluten – my doctor feels like he's condemning me by telling me I can't have gluten. My mother-in-law, who has generally been supportive and one of the few I can trust to check with me about recipes and ingredients prior to family gatherings, asked me last month if the gf diet has been working and if it's something I'll stick with – to which I replied that yes, I'm better (though not completely – there's something else going on still causing some GI issues, but at least I'm no longer having bouts of stomach cramps so severe they send me moaning to the nearest couch or bed) and I'm staying gluten free, regardless of the lack of an actual diagnosis.

    In that reflecting I also remembered my struggles to give up the gluten, how isolating it was, especially at school when I couldn't even accept offers for free lunches because nothing at our little cafe is safe (and the school-sponsored events generally only provided either sandwiches or pizza), couldn't go out with friends after class because I was hungry and there was no place to go I could trust that didn't cost $20+ a plate, and was basically angry at food entirely for making me sick – all of top of trying to maintain my hardest semester of classes. I remember one of my profs pulling me aside to suggest counseling since I was clearly emotionally unstable, and how I tried to explain it was because of food issues, and that I would be fine, I was just a bit overwhelmed trying to deal with that and classes. I think it was that summer I finally started to come to terms with all of it. I found a strong online community revolving around gluten free and allergy free foods, mostly through your blog and facebook. :-) I realized that although going gluten free is really hard at first, it does get easier, and if anything it means I get to learn how to cook and bake for myself, something I don't think I would have done too much of without the restrictions. It has also meant that now when I'm looking to eliminate other potential allergens to finally feel healthy again myself, I know I can do it – I just have to give myself time. Your journey has been inspiring, and I have appreciated all the recipes you and others post – they have been very helpful, especially around the holidays this year, even if my versions don't end up working quite as well (the whole still learning how to cook part.) I look forward to reading about your next leg of the journey. Best wishes as you start the new year!

    Oh, and btw – I'm originally from Ohio as well, though I didn't go to OSU (many of my high school classmates did.) :-) I'm no longer in Ohio, but my parents still are so we travel there regularly.

  16. Heidi, I adored this post as much as I adore you! And, I love all the comments here from everyone, including some of my best gf buddies and even Sharon, one of my favorite members with her always smiling face and upbeat attitude! There's not much that doesn't lead to something better on this journey in my opinion. And, I'm saying that to remind myself as I still need to embrace some changes. However, my word for 2011 is "Act" so it will happen. I think the fact that your boys are embracing green smoothies is a wonderful sign that all will be well in 2011 in the Kelly household. And, frankly my dear (I do love me some Rhett), there's not much you can't do with a goldfish theme. I'd love to see a post abour your family's evolution as chronicled by goldfish … wouldn't that be fun?

    Onward and upward, baby! xoxo,

    Shirley

  17. Linda says:

    Happy new year, Heidi! Your blog is a great resource and I look forward to all you will share in 2011. Corn is tough one to eliminate–I've done that before. Actually, it's difficult eliminating anything, but I know you will figure it out and do it well.

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